WATCh: Walkers Against Thigh CHafing

There’s no card to carry for a membership to Walkers Against Thigh CHafing, although everyone should be an unofficial member by their third decade or so round this lovely planet. The admittance process likely starts on a day we’ve all had where thigh-chafing occured and threatened our happiness, maybe even paused the day’s mission. Forget about it. Another summer is around our corner and it doesn’t take a mastermind to reach thigh chafe zero.

Sometimes called chub-rub, all body shapes can get it. Women and men of all genders get it. It happens when it’s really humid and you’re a moving human. Leg bands, tights and other delights can help, an old wives’ tale or two — but the most plentifully available defense against TC are boxer briefs. We’re not endorsing any brands, but after shoes, underwear is pretty important so cheap out at your own risk. Thank your folks or your buddy for keeping you underwear’d up all these years, but no one can make a purchase quite like you. Adults buy their own underpants, so command that.

Screen: Commando arcade game, released as 戦場の狼 in Japan (Capcom 1985)

 

So you’re on your own and buying underwears.  Just like trousers, you’ll end up liking a few pairs more than others. There’s your direction. Thinking of going commando (no underwear) on a long walk? A real commando would have bulletproof boxer briefs with a phone pouch. Basketball shorts commanding the living room couch is okay, going commando on a long hike? No way fool. So many brands are designing new things for you, are you going to leave them hanging like some damn enemy of fun? Thigh-Chafing shows no mercy. Don’t let two spaces on your skin often no bigger than an inch collab on this self-sabotage

Waste size: You don’t want your drawers slipping off your butt but if the waistband is too tight this can be hurtfully uncomfortable. Be sure to examine the package size chart end error on the up if your waist measurement is on the border between sizes. The wrong kind of boxer-briefs can creep up and cause crotchetiness or worse deliver a slow wedgie. Some have thin polyurethane strips around the leg openings to keep from slipping. Some will fit great. Some won’t. You won’t know until you try. We can always do a test rehearsal wear around the home turf before choosing to don the underclothes on a long day trip.
ReusedUnderwearBox

Factory outlets, shops at malls, your favorite sneaker company’s site — find some, buy some, try some! All good drawers certainly don’t come in a box. One of our excellent performers dangles freely on the racks at one of our favorite outdoor retailers. Stay away from buying multipacks at first, unless you know they’re great. Note things you like: Good space in the front, or the back, or the width or the length. Read the tag even if you have to use a magnifier. Are they cotton, polyester, combinations of the two, rayon, wool blend — futuristic proprietary fabrics? Put it on a phone note. There’s your data recording.

Avoid underwear ‘subscriptions’ until you’ve played the field.  And since there are so many brands — you’re lying. Sizes can be so inconsistent between brands too, it’s rather hilarious at times. We have some Larges that are bigger than XLs. Some fabrics dry slow, some fabrics dry quick. All elastic bands aren’t created equal. Sometimes it takes a few tries to feel what’s best in what weather. Do you want that big logo on them? If your body is a temple, take care of the anacondas and they’ll love you back by not chafing each other while propelling you forward. If some underdrawers aren’t working out, cut them into rags and buy a little harder in the future. Unlike outer-apparel oversights, no one else saw you fail  The lovely simple things, I could go on and on..

Please join up with Walkers Against Thigh CHafing if you haven’t already.

“For the simple pleasures are worth more than treasures, that your paper money ever bring..” – Minnie Riperton

Off The Path: Vaxx Repping Caps

We were bumping the new Papoose song the other night. In some of his promo shots, Pap is wearing a Pittsburgh Pirates cap featuring the big ‘P’. He’s obviously repping for his name. Like when Ice-T wore a ‘T’ (Texas) cap on his Midnight Marauders cover shot, wearing gear to subliminally represent something else is not new whatsoever. If you grew up in an area where street gangs were active, or know about old northeast sports fan beefs, you know all about hat-as-identification type styling. If you know about love and respect in the twenty-twenties, our ‘gang’ idea is very peaceful. Violence offers abhorrence, vaccines offer hope. Far from gangly, start thinking spangly.

Screenshot from the album cover “Midnight Marauders” by A Tribe Called Quest (1993)

Now that vaccines in America for COVID-19 are all over the place, (we’re getting #2 of Pfizer next week) we were thinking of creative ways to creatively ‘rep’ being vaxxed. As our society emerges from lockdown, there’s all manner of debate on how to brandish proof that one has received a vaccination for participation in recreational and social situations. We’re not saying wearing a cap with a ‘V’ on it is substitute for official documentation, but (have some fun with us) we picked out a few caps that we think a stylish pro-science head like YOU could pull off if you rocked it right. #VaxxGang represent.

Villanova Wildcats is a no-brainer. Crafty cats could even put an “axxed” after the “V” on it and take it to another level.

This Vanderbilt University cap could work. When you walk into your first party post-vaxx, you might feel like a star wearing this one just so.

Victory Brewing straight out of Downingtown, PA (love their Prima Pilsner). Subliminally, we like how this reps ‘victory’, even if it’s a personal one for you just getting through all this covidy crud with your head still attached.

Minor League Baseball has a few Vs. We might let you in the fun-gang with this Visalia Rawhide cap.

Good tune right? We know there are other V-caps out there. At us on twitter if you know some good ones we missed. We hope you are well. Things will never be the same again becasue of COVID, but we’re thankful to all the scientists and health workers that made this vaccination rollout happen. Think about it: Things were never normal anyway!

Radnom pin my bro got when he received his vaccination in Massachusetts. Brand: Penzeys

Off The Path is where we feature some non-footwear wearbles. Peace.

Editor’s note. I had such a problem getting the original cover image onto this post I gave up and used this still from the original “V” TV miniseries.