There’s no card to carry for a membership to Walkers Against Thigh CHafing, although everyone should be an unofficial member by their third decade or so round this lovely planet. The admittance process likely starts on a day we’ve all had where thigh-chafing occured and threatened our happiness, maybe even paused the day’s mission. Forget about it. Another summer is around our corner and it doesn’t take a mastermind to reach thigh chafe zero.
Sometimes called chub-rub, all body shapes can get it. Women and men of all genders get it. It happens when it’s really humid and you’re a moving human. Leg bands, tights and other delights can help, an old wives’ tale or two — but the most plentifully available defense against TC are boxer briefs. We’re not endorsing any brands, but after shoes, underwear is pretty important so cheap out at your own risk. Thank your folks or your buddy for keeping you underwear’d up all these years, but no one can make a purchase quite like you. Adults buy their own underpants, so command that.
So you’re on your own and buying underwears. Just like trousers, you’ll end up liking a few pairs more than others. There’s your direction. Thinking of going commando (no underwear) on a long walk? A real commando would have bulletproof boxer briefs with a phone pouch. Basketball shorts commanding the living room couch is okay, going commando on a long hike? No way fool. So many brands are designing new things for you, are you going to leave them hanging like some damn enemy of fun? Thigh-Chafing shows no mercy. Don’t let two spaces on your skin often no bigger than an inch collab on this self-sabotage
Waste size: You don’t want your drawers slipping off your butt but if the waistband is too tight this can be hurtfully uncomfortable. Be sure to examine the package size chart end error on the up if your waist measurement is on the border between sizes. The wrong kind of boxer-briefs can creep up and cause crotchetiness or worse deliver a slow wedgie. Some have thin polyurethane strips around the leg openings to keep from slipping. Some will fit great. Some won’t. You won’t know until you try. We can always do a test rehearsal wear around the home turf before choosing to don the underclothes on a long day trip.
Factory outlets, shops at malls, your favorite sneaker company’s site — find some, buy some, try some! All good drawers certainly don’t come in a box. One of our excellent performers dangles freely on the racks at one of our favorite outdoor retailers. Stay away from buying multipacks at first, unless you know they’re great. Note things you like: Good space in the front, or the back, or the width or the length. Read the tag even if you have to use a magnifier. Are they cotton, polyester, combinations of the two, rayon, wool blend — futuristic proprietary fabrics? Put it on a phone note. There’s your data recording.
Avoid underwear ‘subscriptions’ until you’ve played the field. And since there are so many brands — you’re lying. Sizes can be so inconsistent between brands too, it’s rather hilarious at times. We have some Larges that are bigger than XLs. Some fabrics dry slow, some fabrics dry quick. All elastic bands aren’t created equal. Sometimes it takes a few tries to feel what’s best in what weather. Do you want that big logo on them? If your body is a temple, take care of the anacondas and they’ll love you back by not chafing each other while propelling you forward. If some underdrawers aren’t working out, cut them into rags and buy a little harder in the future. Unlike outer-apparel oversights, no one else saw you fail The lovely simple things, I could go on and on..
Please join up with Walkers Against Thigh CHafing if you haven’t already.
“For the simple pleasures are worth more than treasures, that your paper money ever bring..” – Minnie Riperton
